Heavy Metal

I think my tastes have started to merge with those of the general population because I can relate more to common circumstances. I've started to not hate screaming thrashing music - and it frightens me. What inside of me is so upset and unbalanced that heavy metal would be somewhat appealing . . . . even soothing? I think I have an inkling of what may be upsetting my inner most being. People do it every day, and yet I can't handle it, I'm a wimp. It's called an office job. And I don't know how people can handle it. Help!