Two random events have occurred in that past couple of hours that I feel must be recognized. First, as I was in my political thought class a guy passed buy the room and shortly looked for something as another student was entering. Fifteen minutes later he walked by, looking from the corner of his eye and looking all frontal like an Egyptian hieroglyph. Then, just as he was about to vanish from sight he lifted up a digital camera to the bottom left corner of the door window and snapped a picture. Weird. Second, I had just enough money left on my Ucard to buy potato chips at the vending machine for lunch and (just my luck) they got stuck. I hit the machine a few times and considered shaking it but concluded my safety ensured by leaving the chips for the next lucky person who would buy the pretzels above it. Sadly, I came to such a generous conclusion from a statistic I heard about people shaking vending machines and dying as a result of it falling and crushing. This reaction of mine has led me to think about my reaction to life in general. If anyone spoke to my parents about being stubborn and immediacy in life decisions they would automatically point to me. I'm not reckless, but I might as well be for all the risky decisions that I make. All the spontaneous things (considered so by close family, and not maybe everyone else) I've done have all resulted well and never did I once consider not making the decision I made.
On Thursday I was offered a position to dance for Norwegian cruise lines (pointe partnering) that will travel to Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska. I was shocked, then excited, and had close to no doubts. And I stayed that way for the following three days. Now that I've had more time, I actually feel some kind of fear. I've decided that I can't make a decision based upon fear. And that my cost benefit analysis of the situation helps me come to the conclusion that it will be overall beneficial. Do I need to go, no. Will staying in Utah be just as beneficial, comparatively. But I feel like I should go for reasons different than I had at the beginning. I should go to live on my own, to be away for sixth months, to grow, to travel, and to learn how to be somewhat independent. I don't want to go because I don't want to leave my family, I don't want anything to happen to my family while I am gone, I don't know the actual reality of dancing on a cruise ship, I don't know all the unknowns, and (sadly) because I don't feel that it is the most prestigious dancing job. From what I know the pay is very competitive, there are no additional duties, I'm allowed to travel, and the choreography for Stiletto entertainment is supposedly top rated. What I know I already don't like about the conditions are that I would have to live with a roommate and most likely the rooms are probably not world class. Overall, I've concluded that I should take the chance and not base my decisions on fear and what could happen while I am gone. And nor should I make decisions to not get my chips based upon my fear created by a statistic. I can't live life by not taking opportunities, by staying where I am when nothing else seems potent (and when I have nothing else to eat and no more money) for future plans. When I return after six months I will spend the holidays with my family then take two classes and graduate. And right now I'm going to go back upstairs to see if those chips are still there (or put more money on my Ucard). Life will go on after graduation to whatever I would have done if I had not chosen to take this job (I feel). I just hope this is the best decision to make.
On Thursday I was offered a position to dance for Norwegian cruise lines (pointe partnering) that will travel to Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska. I was shocked, then excited, and had close to no doubts. And I stayed that way for the following three days. Now that I've had more time, I actually feel some kind of fear. I've decided that I can't make a decision based upon fear. And that my cost benefit analysis of the situation helps me come to the conclusion that it will be overall beneficial. Do I need to go, no. Will staying in Utah be just as beneficial, comparatively. But I feel like I should go for reasons different than I had at the beginning. I should go to live on my own, to be away for sixth months, to grow, to travel, and to learn how to be somewhat independent. I don't want to go because I don't want to leave my family, I don't want anything to happen to my family while I am gone, I don't know the actual reality of dancing on a cruise ship, I don't know all the unknowns, and (sadly) because I don't feel that it is the most prestigious dancing job. From what I know the pay is very competitive, there are no additional duties, I'm allowed to travel, and the choreography for Stiletto entertainment is supposedly top rated. What I know I already don't like about the conditions are that I would have to live with a roommate and most likely the rooms are probably not world class. Overall, I've concluded that I should take the chance and not base my decisions on fear and what could happen while I am gone. And nor should I make decisions to not get my chips based upon my fear created by a statistic. I can't live life by not taking opportunities, by staying where I am when nothing else seems potent (and when I have nothing else to eat and no more money) for future plans. When I return after six months I will spend the holidays with my family then take two classes and graduate. And right now I'm going to go back upstairs to see if those chips are still there (or put more money on my Ucard). Life will go on after graduation to whatever I would have done if I had not chosen to take this job (I feel). I just hope this is the best decision to make.
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